The Holy Spirit is not your life coach
A conversation at the coffee shop
I end up in some long theological conversations at coffee shops. Not long ago I met a guy and we talked for about an hour and a half, and a lot of that time was about the Holy Spirit.
He believed in the Spirit. He talked about how the Spirit helps him make decisions and leads him down the path of life. But the longer he talked, the more the Spirit sounded like a self-help guru or a therapist. In his picture, we sit at the center of the universe and the Spirit exists to help us.
The Holy Spirit does guide us in our decisions. But he is not there to build your personal brand or make you more "successful." He doesn't hand out formulas or checklists.
Most of us do some version of what my friend was doing. We look at our lives, and decide what is missing. We then ask the Spirit to fill that gap so life gets better. We end up treating him more like a genie or a therapist than like God.
Think about money. If you don't have much, you look at someone who has more and ask the Spirit to give you more so the lack goes away. But more money won't make your life better, and what's missing in your life is far bigger than money. The Spirit doesn't exist to serve your will, because your will and your emotions will fail you.
God is not our genie
To see one of the Spirit's real roles, go back to the Old Testament, to Ezekiel 36. Israel has been scattered and no longer governs itself. God allowed this to happen because his people profaned his name with bloodshed and idolatry, chasing other gods until the name of Israel's God became a curse among the nations.
Then God says this:
"Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came." (Ezekiel 36:22)
God is getting one thing straight. I'm not doing this because of you. They had defiled his name, gone their own way and given in to their own desires. He is about to save them, but not because they earned it. They couldn't earn it, and neither can we. God doesn't owe us anything.
This should settle it for every believer: God is not our genie. We are not the center of the universe, with God stepping in wherever we want him to. Every time people have gone their own way, it has ended in destruction and ruin. Any mature Christian can tell you how many times their own will led them into a downfall.
So how does God vindicate his holiness? He sprinkles his people clean from every uncleanness, and he sends his Spirit.
Saved by mercy, not merit
Ezekiel gave this word about 600 years before Christ. It was spoken to Israel, but it was written for every one of us. Paul says the same thing to Titus:
"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit." (Titus 3:3–5)
We loved the world and whatever the culture lifted up. We were slaves to our passions and desires. And just like Israel, we won't be set free by our own work:
• Not by our own merit will we be freed from our idolatry.
• Not by our own righteousness will we be freed from our passions.
• Not by our own effort will we stop hating one another.
Only the goodness and loving kindness of God can do that, and it appeared in Christ. The one who knew no sin became sin so that we could become righteous. When we believe and trust in him, we are given the Spirit.
The Spirit points to Jesus
So what is the Spirit's mission? He testifies to who Jesus is. Jesus told his disciples:
"But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me." (John 15:26)
In John 15, Jesus has just told them the world will hate them because it hated him first. Whatever comes against them, the Spirit will keep testifying to who Jesus really is. Paul says it this way:
"You know that when you were pagans you were led astray to mute idols, however you were led. Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says 'Jesus is accursed!' and no one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except in the Holy Spirit." (1 Corinthians 12:2–3)
That brings me back to my friend at the coffee shop. He had a lot to say about the Spirit, but he saw Jesus as one wise figure among many, someone who helps us find the light the way every religion has someone. If you believe you have the Spirit of God but hold that view of Jesus, then whatever is guiding you is not the Holy Spirit leading you into truth.
Jesus is Lord. That means he is Creator, Sustainer and Sovereign over all things, which gives him the authority to rule over us. He designed this life and holds all things together, and the Spirit keeps pointing us back to that. As the Spirit points us to the Lordship of Christ, he begins to transform us into Christ's image.
A heart of stone, a heart of flesh
This is what Ezekiel prophesied would happen:
"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26)
A stone has no life in it. Ask a stone to do something and nothing happens, because it can't respond. That's what living in sin does to us. We idolize, envy and gossip, and we aren't bothered, because a heart of stone doesn't move.
Even as believers, many of us have gone through seasons of feeling cold and unresponsive, numb to the work of God.
Even stones can change within certain environments, but only for a moment. You can put a stone in a fire and it will warm up for a while. Then it goes cold again. That's the story for a lot of people. A stone heart walks into a church service, feels some conviction, maybe even cries, because it has been placed in the fire. Then it cools off and nothing has really changed.
For your heart to really take in the testimony of Jesus and be transformed, it has to be replaced. It cannot stay a stone. When God puts his Spirit in us, he doesn't just warm the stone up. He turns it into flesh.
Flesh is alive. It's tissue that responds. Touch it and it feels. So when God speaks, a heart of flesh responds, and when you sin, it is convicted.
It goes further than that. The more you meet with God and let him renew your heart, the more sensitive it gets, not only to sin but to temptation. You face the thing you've struggled with for years and realize it just doesn't feel right anymore. First you recognize sin after you commit it. Then you start recognizing it before you do.
The valley of temptation becomes an uncomfortable place. So do the desires of the world and the stony ground you used to live on. Charles Spurgeon put it this way:
"Great sins are little to the stony heart, little sins are great to the heart of flesh — if little sins there be."
You have been brought from death to life. Your soul has been clothed with flesh. Your mind is being renewed, and your heart is now sensitive to what is evil in God's sight. Only the work of the Spirit makes that possible.
Then God goes on:
"And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." (Ezekiel 36:27)
When the Spirit of God really lives in you, you begin to obey Christ. You are moved by him, by the gospel and by the words of Scripture. Walking in God's ways and obeying him become a joy. You start to love what he loves and to live out the greatest commandment:
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37)
So how do I change?
If I'm honest, a lot of us show up on Sunday, engage in worship, take in the sermon and connect with each other, all with a heart of stone. Paul's question to the Galatians fits many of us:
"Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" (Galatians 3:3)
Sin has made itself at home. Evil has become permissible, and sin isn't a big deal anymore. What used to convict you, you've been pushing aside. You might get stirred by the Word, even cry over your life and your sin, and then walk out the door unchanged.
So how do you change? Jesus answers that:
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:13)
God is willing to come and live within you. You only have to ask. So ask. Maybe your prayer sounds something like this:
God, I desperately need your Holy Spirit. I have become prideful and arrogant, and my heart has turned to stone. I don't want to keep being convicted and staying the same, moved but never changed. I need your Spirit within me.
This is the church's prayer. We are not consumers looking for whatever is best for us. We are filled with God himself, the Holy Spirit, and he changes us and forms us into the image of Christ. We don't live the way the world lives. We live by his Word, changed by his Spirit.
Ask him. He takes hearts of stone and gives hearts of flesh.
I end up in some long theological conversations at coffee shops. Not long ago I met a guy and we talked for about an hour and a half, and a lot of that time was about the Holy Spirit.
He believed in the Spirit. He talked about how the Spirit helps him make decisions and leads him down the path of life. But the longer he talked, the more the Spirit sounded like a self-help guru or a therapist. In his picture, we sit at the center of the universe and the Spirit exists to help us.
The Holy Spirit does guide us in our decisions. But he is not there to build your personal brand or make you more "successful." He doesn't hand out formulas or checklists.
Most of us do some version of what my friend was doing. We look at our lives, and decide what is missing. We then ask the Spirit to fill that gap so life gets better. We end up treating him more like a genie or a therapist than like God.
Think about money. If you don't have much, you look at someone who has more and ask the Spirit to give you more so the lack goes away. But more money won't make your life better, and what's missing in your life is far bigger than money. The Spirit doesn't exist to serve your will, because your will and your emotions will fail you.
God is not our genie
To see one of the Spirit's real roles, go back to the Old Testament, to Ezekiel 36. Israel has been scattered and no longer governs itself. God allowed this to happen because his people profaned his name with bloodshed and idolatry, chasing other gods until the name of Israel's God became a curse among the nations.
Then God says this:
"Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came." (Ezekiel 36:22)
God is getting one thing straight. I'm not doing this because of you. They had defiled his name, gone their own way and given in to their own desires. He is about to save them, but not because they earned it. They couldn't earn it, and neither can we. God doesn't owe us anything.
This should settle it for every believer: God is not our genie. We are not the center of the universe, with God stepping in wherever we want him to. Every time people have gone their own way, it has ended in destruction and ruin. Any mature Christian can tell you how many times their own will led them into a downfall.
So how does God vindicate his holiness? He sprinkles his people clean from every uncleanness, and he sends his Spirit.
Saved by mercy, not merit
Ezekiel gave this word about 600 years before Christ. It was spoken to Israel, but it was written for every one of us. Paul says the same thing to Titus:
"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit." (Titus 3:3–5)
We loved the world and whatever the culture lifted up. We were slaves to our passions and desires. And just like Israel, we won't be set free by our own work:
• Not by our own merit will we be freed from our idolatry.
• Not by our own righteousness will we be freed from our passions.
• Not by our own effort will we stop hating one another.
Only the goodness and loving kindness of God can do that, and it appeared in Christ. The one who knew no sin became sin so that we could become righteous. When we believe and trust in him, we are given the Spirit.
The Spirit points to Jesus
So what is the Spirit's mission? He testifies to who Jesus is. Jesus told his disciples:
"But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me." (John 15:26)
In John 15, Jesus has just told them the world will hate them because it hated him first. Whatever comes against them, the Spirit will keep testifying to who Jesus really is. Paul says it this way:
"You know that when you were pagans you were led astray to mute idols, however you were led. Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says 'Jesus is accursed!' and no one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except in the Holy Spirit." (1 Corinthians 12:2–3)
That brings me back to my friend at the coffee shop. He had a lot to say about the Spirit, but he saw Jesus as one wise figure among many, someone who helps us find the light the way every religion has someone. If you believe you have the Spirit of God but hold that view of Jesus, then whatever is guiding you is not the Holy Spirit leading you into truth.
Jesus is Lord. That means he is Creator, Sustainer and Sovereign over all things, which gives him the authority to rule over us. He designed this life and holds all things together, and the Spirit keeps pointing us back to that. As the Spirit points us to the Lordship of Christ, he begins to transform us into Christ's image.
A heart of stone, a heart of flesh
This is what Ezekiel prophesied would happen:
"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26)
A stone has no life in it. Ask a stone to do something and nothing happens, because it can't respond. That's what living in sin does to us. We idolize, envy and gossip, and we aren't bothered, because a heart of stone doesn't move.
Even as believers, many of us have gone through seasons of feeling cold and unresponsive, numb to the work of God.
Even stones can change within certain environments, but only for a moment. You can put a stone in a fire and it will warm up for a while. Then it goes cold again. That's the story for a lot of people. A stone heart walks into a church service, feels some conviction, maybe even cries, because it has been placed in the fire. Then it cools off and nothing has really changed.
For your heart to really take in the testimony of Jesus and be transformed, it has to be replaced. It cannot stay a stone. When God puts his Spirit in us, he doesn't just warm the stone up. He turns it into flesh.
Flesh is alive. It's tissue that responds. Touch it and it feels. So when God speaks, a heart of flesh responds, and when you sin, it is convicted.
It goes further than that. The more you meet with God and let him renew your heart, the more sensitive it gets, not only to sin but to temptation. You face the thing you've struggled with for years and realize it just doesn't feel right anymore. First you recognize sin after you commit it. Then you start recognizing it before you do.
The valley of temptation becomes an uncomfortable place. So do the desires of the world and the stony ground you used to live on. Charles Spurgeon put it this way:
"Great sins are little to the stony heart, little sins are great to the heart of flesh — if little sins there be."
You have been brought from death to life. Your soul has been clothed with flesh. Your mind is being renewed, and your heart is now sensitive to what is evil in God's sight. Only the work of the Spirit makes that possible.
Then God goes on:
"And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." (Ezekiel 36:27)
When the Spirit of God really lives in you, you begin to obey Christ. You are moved by him, by the gospel and by the words of Scripture. Walking in God's ways and obeying him become a joy. You start to love what he loves and to live out the greatest commandment:
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37)
So how do I change?
If I'm honest, a lot of us show up on Sunday, engage in worship, take in the sermon and connect with each other, all with a heart of stone. Paul's question to the Galatians fits many of us:
"Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" (Galatians 3:3)
Sin has made itself at home. Evil has become permissible, and sin isn't a big deal anymore. What used to convict you, you've been pushing aside. You might get stirred by the Word, even cry over your life and your sin, and then walk out the door unchanged.
So how do you change? Jesus answers that:
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:13)
God is willing to come and live within you. You only have to ask. So ask. Maybe your prayer sounds something like this:
God, I desperately need your Holy Spirit. I have become prideful and arrogant, and my heart has turned to stone. I don't want to keep being convicted and staying the same, moved but never changed. I need your Spirit within me.
This is the church's prayer. We are not consumers looking for whatever is best for us. We are filled with God himself, the Holy Spirit, and he changes us and forms us into the image of Christ. We don't live the way the world lives. We live by his Word, changed by his Spirit.
Ask him. He takes hearts of stone and gives hearts of flesh.
Recent
Archive
2026
2024
August
Categories
no categories
No Comments